


Silent Confession

by Miscellaneous_Subtext



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-02
Updated: 2012-05-02
Packaged: 2017-11-04 17:07:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/396183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miscellaneous_Subtext/pseuds/Miscellaneous_Subtext
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The things whispered into sleeping ears.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Silent Confession

**Author's Note:**

> There's going to be more to this story... thank the people on Deviantart for that...

“Love me,” I whisper in his ear, he shifts slightly in his sleep and a sudden stab of guilt hits my heart like a knife. I stand slowly, I shouldn’t be here but this is the only place I want to be. A small smile appears on his face and I smile back.  
“Cas…” He whispers and I briefly wonder if I’ve woken him. But soon enough he rolls over and sighs gently. Carefully I reach out and stroke his hair.  
“I am here…” My breath brushes over his ear as I lean down to kiss his cheek. His cheek is rough with stubble but so very warm. I want to climb in beside him and absorb his heat, feel his heart beating strongly in his chest and hear his soul singing peacefully. So much about him calls me in yet I am not allowed to answer the call.  
“Good night Dean, sleep well dear one.” I mutter before rising and disappearing from the room. There is another call I must answer and this one once again takes me away from you. 

Dean’s eyes flickered open and he jerked himself upright in bed. Someone had been here, of that he was sure, stupid hunter instincts. His eyes travelled around the room and found nothing. Only once he’d relaxed did he notice the slight burning of his cheek. Slowly he raised one hand and touched the hot flesh. His fingers tingled as they meet the spot.  
“Castiel…” He left it hanging, the one in the dirty trench coat, had he really been here? Dean sighed; it didn’t matter because he wasn’t here now. The one who’s in love with you? Was it really true? Strangely enough the thought that he had a divine stalker comforted Dean. No one but Sam and his father had ever cared for him the way Castiel did. No one had ever risked so much for him. One day he would return the favour, of that Dean was sure. Even if it meant staying with Castiel for the rest of his life. Dean flopped back onto his pillows.  
“Good night Cas… Stay safe…” 

*********

Dean threw open the door, it hit the wall hard as he stormed out of the house.  
“It doesn’t make sense!” He yelled at no one in particular. He headed to the garage where his baby was parked. The mere sight of it calmed him; the only other thing that could calm him in one of these moods was C… He silenced himself, no… He couldn’t feel that way; he already owned a debt he didn’t need to make it any larger. Popping the hood Dean grabbed a wrench and went to work on replacing the starter motor in the Impala. He muttered to himself the whole time, going over all the facts. Eve had gone down too easily, it was all too simple. She’d had a small army at her disposal yet she had died so easily. The nagging feeling in the back of Dean’s mind wouldn’t go away and although Bobby and Sam had tried to reassure him, his instincts wouldn’t listen. A soft flutter had him jerking his head up the next instant. He turned to find Castiel standing behind him. Dean tried to hide a smile but failed when his lips turned up at the corners.  
“Castiel…” He nodded before turning back to the car.  
“Dean…” Castiel’s voice was troubled and Dean shot a look over his shoulder at the angel, one eyebrow quirked in inquirer. Castiel hesitated for a long minute, stuffing his hands in his trench coat as if looking for the answers in his pocket. “How are you?” It was clearly not the question he had wanted to ask.  
“The same as normal worried about the end of the world as we know it. What about you?” Dean’s tone was dry as he turned the bolts surrounds the starter motor.  
“War is not as I had imagined it…” Castiel’s voice trailed off and Dean turned. He leaned against the Impala and folded his arms over his chest. His eyes took in all of Castiel in one glance, he looked tired and thinner than Dean would have expected. He looked sick, if that was even possible.  
“It never is…” They stood in silence for a moment neither one looking at the other. “I’m sorry Cas…”  
“For what?” Castiel looked up to see Dean staring at him a look of regret on his face.  
“For calling on you all the time… I mean, you have your own problems and I… Me and Sammy and Bobby always seem to be dragging you away.” Dean smiled a little, “We owe you.”  
“No, you do not.” Castiel took a step forward, placing his hand on Dean shoulder. “You are my friend, one of few. I will do anything to protect you.” Dean’s smile widened into a slightly cocky grin.  
“Friends with benefits?” The words had slipped out before he had time to think about them. Dean flushed and looked away.  
“You get many benefits from our friendship…” Castiel wore a confused expression and Dean blessed the angel’s innocence.  
“Yes I guess I do… I’m still alive after all.” Dean laughed patting Castiel’s shoulder, throwing his head back a little and closing his eyes so he didn’t have to meet Castiel’s penetrating blue gaze.  
“Dean?” All humour left Dean at the seriousness in Castiel’s tone. His head shot back down as he looked up at the angel. “There is something troubling you? Tell me…”  
“Are you a mind reader now Cas?” Dean responded trying to brush the comment aside. Castiel was so close, their faces almost level. Dean could actually feel Castiel’s breath against his nose.  
“No Dean, you are simply easy to read.”  
“Oh,” Castiel said it so matter-of-factly that Dean couldn’t think of anything to say. “It just seems too simple.” Dean leaned back again, his arms once more resting over his chest. “I mean we went to so much trouble looking for Eve, the evil bitch, and yet we killed her so easily. It’s all too simple.” A frown appeared on Castiel’s face and he stepped back, turning away slightly and staring into the distance.  
“Maybe you are thinking about it too seriously Dean. You and Sam have averted the apocalypse before.”  
“But not without a price Cas. Never without a price. This just doesn’t seem right. What did we pay this time? What are we missing? Please enlighten me because I can’t think of anything.” Frustration slipped into Dean’s voice and Castiel turned to look at him, face expressionless.  
“Who says you were the one to pay the price?” His eyes were blank, it put Dean on edge.  
“What do you know Castiel?” Castiel turned away.  
“Nothing.”  
“Liar,” Dean replied, striding forward and grabbing Castiel to swing him around so that their eyes meet. “You know something you’re not saying Cas. You may say I’m easy to read but behind that expressionless mask, so are you.”  
“It’s nothing Dean, it doesn’t concern you.” Castiel looked away refusing to meet Dean’s stare.  
“Of course it concerns me Cas!” Both of Dean’s hands rose to Castiel’s shoulder, he so badly wanted to shake the angel but he held back. For what seemed like eternity silence rested between them but finally Castiel looked up.  
“Why?”  
“Why what?” Dean asked in confusion.  
“Why does it concern you? You lost nothing, why does what I know concern you?” It was almost a challenge; Castiel held Dean’s gaze and Dean found himself locked into the angels blue gaze, unable to look away.  
“Because…” Dean swallowed, “Because I worry about you Cas.” The words hung between them till Castiel finally released Dean from his stare.  
“I have to go Dean…” His voice was low whisper and in that moment Dean wanted to grab him and hold onto him forever. Although that’s what he wanted it was his frustration that boiled over.  
“Fine Cas!” Dean replied turning away, throwing his hands in the air. “Fine! Go and be with your little army! See if I care! I’ll just stand here forever and worry about you while you plot who knows what with your demented siblings!”  
“We’ll talk later.” Was Castiel’s only response, Dean’s anger and frustration fizzled out instantly at the mention of him leaving.  
“You say that a lot Cas, but we never actually do.”  
“I know…” The flutter of wings heralded the angel’s departure but Dean still spun around hoping to still see the angel in his trench coat still standing there. He wasn’t. Dean heaved a deep sigh and pushed a hand through his short hair.  
“I’m sorry Castiel… Come back safe.”

I hated leaving him like that. For a long time I just stood and watched over him from a distance, invisible to his eyes. The calling was getting louder and more annoying but I ignored it in favour of knowing that he was alright. I hated not telling him things, talking to him helped me think but today it hadn’t. I hadn’t said the things I’d come to say today. I hadn’t told him the truth the way I had planned to. The fear had swarmed over me. Dean seemed to know even before I told him that there was more to it. He was far more intelligent than he gave himself credit for. Stupid hunter. He deserved to get something for free for once, he paid nothing and yet he still questioned it. Dean was cynical and although I loved that about him it showed what a dark childhood he’d had. If only I’d been there then to protect him. But there was no changing the past; I’d learned that the hard way. I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see one of my lieutenants. There was a small, knowing smile on her face.  
“Come away now Castiel. Leave the boy in peace. He will be fine without you for a little while.” Her smile was reassuring but I still felt unsure. “If it will ease your fears I will watch him while you take care of your business. I will not take my eyes off him.” Finally I let myself smile at her.  
“Thank you sister that would ease my worry greatly.” I placed a small kiss to her cheek before hurrying away. The sooner I was gone, the sooner I would be back and the less time I would have to worry about Dean getting into trouble. For as much as I loved the hunter, he got himself into trouble way to often and at a time like this I couldn’t stand to lose him.


End file.
